if i was famous every time a fan would come up to me and ask for a picture i would whisper “i’ve seen your blog” right before the picture is taken
Where is this paranoia coming from?
From the Paranoia Emporium, duh. The Paranoia Emporium: We Know What You Want.
Sorry! Couldn’t resist! :))
I approve of this.
A few more talking points about Breaking Dawn Part 2 that I’d like to mention now that the full effect of what I watched has washed over me (spoilers galore ahead)
- When Bella and Edward first embrace after the opening credits, the sound editing choices are pretty interesting because you can hear, with the highest of fidelity, Edward’s arm hairs rustling
- The concept of the CGI baby is even more absurd than what you think because it’s clearly a real baby with a fake face added on in post-production
- Jacob is such an asshole throughout the entire movie and it’s wonderful because it’s completely senseless and doesn’t seem to be based on any rational or even spiteful sort of motive
- Like, Bella and Edward are originally planning to leave town and let everyone think they’re dead but Jacob figures if he just tells Bella’s dad what’s up (he still doesn’t know about Bella’s pregnancy or even the existence of vampires) and he does so by showing up at her dad’s place and saying “Bella’s okay and alive but to be alive she had to change” and her dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about and Jacob goes “You don’t understand the world you’re living in” AND THEN PROCEEDS TO STRIP TO HIS UNDERWEAR VERY VERY SLOWLY and at no point does he stop to assure the very uncomfortable man in front of him that there is nothing homoerotic about what he’s doing and then he turns into a wolf
- There are upwards of ten extremely graphic decapitations in this film but the one sex scene doesn’t even dare making a trek into the land of sideboob because the latter would sacrifice a PG rating and if that doesn’t speak volumes about how fucking absurd the MPAA’s rating system is, I don’t know what does
- The movie essentially turns into X-Men because Edward and Bella start seeking “witnesses” to prove that their baby, who the Vampire Freemasons want to kill, is totally safe and okay and they’re also building an army in doing so and one of the vampires is this very aloof beardy dude who states at the beginning that if it comes to a fight he’s ditching them without looking back
- And then when the final battle is about to begin (but not begin), he’s like “okay bye” and you think he’s gonna have a Han Solo redemption arc but nope! That is literally the last you ever see of this character
- So vampires aren’t supposed to breed because their babies never age past toddlerhood and what results is a superhuman being with absolutely no control over its strength and bloodlust and they show this old flashback of the bad guys cornering one of these kids, murdering his mother and then Dakota Fanning rips off this kid’s head and then tosses him into a giant bonfire
- There were moments when this film really wanted to be interesting and engaging but the rules of its universe just wouldn’t let it be anything but a farce - like this one part where the Cullens are all sitting around a fire talking about famous wars from history they had fought in but every time someone joins the conversation they do so by doing that stupid cartoony vampire run into the circle
- Peter Facinelli, or as I like to refer to him, Chubby Bill Pullman, gets his head torn off in mid-air
- Ashley Greene in general walks away from this movie looking pretty good even though she’s used as the vehicle for the single most infuriating and insulting plot-twist in the history of contemporary cinema
- The last scene of the movie is Bella telepathically showing Edward an AMV she made of them using stock footage from the previous Twilight films
- Oh and then there’s a 15 minute credit sequence (I am not for a minute joking) where they show and credit every single actor from the entire franchise like it’s some sort of novella on Telemundo including a bunch of people who never speak in any of the five films
- During Anna Kendrick’s part of this sequence (she does not actually appear in this film) she’s sitting next to one of Bella’s other high school friends and she tells him that he needs to wipe something off of his face
Every time I talk about this movie people think I’m kidding but honestly there is nothing I could make up that is more ridiculous than what they actually put on that screen in front of me
it was the busta rhymes, it was the worsta rhymes