[Exit, Pursued By A Sloth]

pheasantknight:

THE FOLLOWING IS AN EDUCATIONAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM BARKING SQUID SPORTHORSES, LLC.

Dear Bitches and Salt Wives Respected Clients of our Fine Breeding Facility:

Next time you consider breeding your defective stock to one of the Barking Squid stallions, kindly do some fucking research beforehand.  Stranger is clearly listed as a “Courser” type; Smiler is listed as a “Charger.”  Since most of you are obviously illiterate, we’ve included pictures—the BIG horsey is a courser and the BIG AND CLUNKY horsey is a charger.  

 Mr. Clegane has no time or patience for complaints that Stranger’s offspring do not have flowing manes, feathered fetlocks, or the bone structure to carry your fat ass in tournament armor.  Similarly, Mr. Greyjoy doesn’t want to hear your bitching that a Smiler colt is slow, hard to maneuver, or blessed with feet that fall apart as soon as you’ve been a month away from a farrier.  

Note that Barking Squid Sporthorses is still happy to impregnate your ugly, lame, and poorly-behaved mares for $1200 a squirt.  We only ask that you know the goddamn difference between a courser and a charger and/or direct your complaints to someone who gives a flying fuck.

Regards,

The Owners and Staff of Barking Squid Sporthorses, LLC.

PS: We are currently hiring staff for our Artificial Insemination facility; Mr. Greyjoy is no longer interested in wanking the horses and Cersei Lannister isn’t returning our calls. 

PPS: Mr. Greyjoy would like to add that he was never interested in wanking the horses in the first place.  Also, you can have his semen free of charge—live cover only.

PPPS: You can have Mr. Clegane’s semen too if you bring wine and don’t come back until it’s eighteen.